Uh, Namaste

Goodness, where does the time go...? 10 days since I blogged last? Apologies. I've been busy: had a wonderful trip to Missoula, where I spoke at the Women's Small Business Opportunity workshop put on by Montana's Senator Tester; working with a fabulous designer (and retreat alumna!) on our big website redo; starting up violin lessons again; and, keeping up with the online class in world religions that I am taking through Harvard University. And winter is supposed to be my "off season".

Why am I taking a class in world religions, you ask? Good question, to which I have many answers. I've wanted to do this for awhile, and a family decision to send 6 year old to a Christian school made me follow through. As a product of a mixed Catholic and Hindu household, a Jesuit University, many years of yoga, and 40 years of formulating my own thoughts on the topic of religion, I've felt the need to delve a little deeper. Mostly, I want to be able to answer my daughter's questions with integrity, respect for all faiths, and a strong sense of what I myself believe in. The other night when I was doing some reading for the class, she asked me why there are different religions. My answer: They are all different ways to love God. If I get nothing else out of the class than that, I will be quite pleased.

We've just finished our module on Hinduism. I'll admit to finding its concepts overwhelming and a bit difficult to understand, despite more than a decade of exposure to them through yoga. I acknowledge that practicing yoga in the West isn't necessarily exposure to or study of Hinduism. Furthermore, I have mixed feelings about the sometimes blatant commercialism of a religion via yoga (think OM and Hindu goddess t-shirts, Shiva Shakti pants, all the great stuff you find in yoga studio shops. And yes of course I've bought them). These two things came up for me during this module. While there are undoubtedly some yogis that go through the motions simply because it is the thing to do, there are also people that are sincerely drawn to yoga on account of its Hindu roots. And probably a lot of people somewhere in the middle. A great quote from Suzanne Morrison's book Yoga Bitch:

The last time I was in New York...I overheard two women chatting outside the yoga studio next door. They were gossiping, actually, but in a yogic sort of way. It was clear that they meant their cooing to suggest that they were more concerned than angry. They were talking about another girl in their yoga teacher training program. They both spoke in soothing tones, their vowels as round as the breasts of a Hindu goddess. Clearly this classmate of theirs had done something appalling, because their conversation went like this:

'Feather just doesn't get it.'

'Mmm-hmmm. She doesn't get it. Poor Feather.'

'She doesn't even know how unyogic she's being.'

'I mean, I feel sorry for her, honestly. She just doesn't get it.'

'I know, and I can't believe she thinks she gets it. Mmmmm. She totally doesn't get it.'

'She doesn't get it at all!'

'I mean, maybe she's a young soul, you know? Right? But what troubles me is that she thinks she gets it.'

'Right? And now we're upset and she's polluting the whole environment. It's like what guruji said. She's got, like, no samtosha.'

'I had total bliss before she came in.'

'I know, total bliss, right?'

What I am trying to address here is respect. As a non-Hindu, can I claim to have a guru? When we westerners refer to our chakras, do we really have any idea what the hell we are talking about? Is it disrespectful to wear a tee with Ganesh on it, or to dig MC Yogi's 'Ganesh is fresh'? What does it mean if I was raised a Christian, but find deep meaning and peace in Sanskrit chants? Do you have to be a Hindu to chant OM and mean it? To understand what it means...? Does it matter? I have always loved the meaning of Namaste: the divine in me recognizes the divine in you. No matter what your faith, how can you argue with that? So if that's all I get from Hinduism...I will be very pleased indeed.

Next up: Buddhism. So I will have to come to terms with the Buddha statues we have in our house.

Uh, Namaste.

Naughty ego!

I'm in Missoula this weekend, visiting family, preparing to present at the Women's Small Business Opportunity Workshop on Tuesday (yay!), and enjoying some yoga time. After a leisurely coffee stop, I popped in for a lovely vinyasa flow class. A perfectly fine Saturday so far. Then, as the instructor announced that we would be working towards doing pincha mayurasana, my ego barked so loud that I almost jumped: YEEEESSSSSS, forearm stand, I rock that pose!

I looked around. Luckily, no one else seemed to have heard my naughty ego. Whew. Moving on. But as we flowed through asana after asana, I became more and more annoyed that my first reaction to the forearm stand news was so ego-centric. Like the little kid who always has their hand up first and yells Me me me! I know the answer! Where's my non-attachment? My lack of ego...? Why was I here on the mat today - to fuel my smug and latte-ed up ego? Ugh. Bah. Sooooo non-yogic, I am.

I struggled with this ridiculous internal dialogue for a bit. Then another voice joined in the conversation, a softer, more grounded motherly one: You know what, everyone likes to feel like they are good at something. Everyone likes to be praised. So, when it's time for forearm balance, allow your ego to shine a little. Give it permission. And when it was time, I will admit, I let ego rock pincha. The instructor came over and asked me if I could take it into scorpion pose, and yeah baby, I did. Me! I know the answer!! It was like the teacher had called on me with my hand up.

Me and my ego left class with that warm fuzzy post-yoga glow. I came to the conclusion (in savasana - more naughtiness!) that I have earned pincha mayurasana; I worked hard to be able to do that pose. So, is it wrong to enjoy being able to do it well? I see the way my 6 year old lights up when I tell her she does something well. Our ego, it's like a child. We definitely need to set limits, but also provide positive reinforcement. The recurring theme of finding balance. Another lesson on the mat.

Today I let my inner 1st grader shine. No apologies. But I did have a little talk with ego about using her inside voice, especially in yoga class. Namaste.

In love with Montana

I'm in love with Montana.

For other states I have admiration, respect, recognition, even some affection.

But with Montana it is love.

And it's difficult to analyze love when you're in it.

John Steinbeck

Happy Valentine's Day 2012. May your day be filled with love and sweet surprises.

Pictured: Heart Spring in Yellowstone National Park, near Old Faithful.

Yogatography

My original concept for Big Sky Yoga Retreats became our tagline: Yoga and Outdoor Fitness in Montana Big Sky Country. However, an exception to this rule is our new Fall 2012 retreat, Yogatography, where we'll blend yoga and - you guessed it - photography. This retreat was born from the outstanding collaboration between myself and the man who always makes me look good, Larry Stanley. Besides being a fantastic photog, Larry has a tremendous gift with people and bringing out their best side. He says: If you are like me, you are never satisfied with your current level of seeing and photographing. We can always learn and in order to grow, we need to pursue creative thought, train our bodies and our minds to stay in shape. The photo side of this retreat will explore and revisit sound basics in camera technique and lighting, as well as teach methods for exercising your creative nature. Join us for a merged exploration of yoga and photography. Yogatography!

I'm excited to extend our offering in a creative direction. Because my motto that yoga helps you do anything better extends beyond the physical. What a treat it will be to explore how our yoga practice enhances our creative vision. One of the exercises on this retreat will be to take photos of each other doing yoga - could there be a better souvenir for a yoga and photography retreat?

Mention you saw it on the CY blog and get 10% off if you reserve by April 15.

Hope you'll join us in October! Namaste.

Pink OM

Why pink OM, you ask? Because it's my birthday, and both pink and OM make me happy. So I ordered a birthday cake with both, much to 6 year old's delight.

I woke up a bit of a cranky, despite the fact that I am one of those people who firmly believes that any birthday is a cause for celebrating self. This morning, birthday #41 was feeling a bit heavy; much heavier than #40. Despite the fact that I feel healthier and happier than ever. Despite the pink OM. Even 6 year old said to me as she got out of the car at school drop off: Mom, please don't have a cranky birthday.

After years of practicing yoga and working on that non-attachment thing, it appears that I am more attached than ever. I want 6 year old to be in first grade forever. I want to be healthy and happy forever. But that's one birthday pressie I won't get, right? Life is like a good vinyasa flow: super smooth in spots, challenging/very challenging in others, always ending in savasana. So we have to honor every damn minute, even the cranky ones. And keep trying to flow through them all with as much grace as we can muster.

Love and gratitude to all of you for sharing my journey. Yeehaw, Namaste, and Pink OMs.

Mulling over lulu

Happy Friday! We got a fresh coat of white yesterday so all is the right in the world. (For now. 10 day forecast calling for sunny and 40s, non-stop. This. is. not. winter.) I am trying to stop obsessing about the weather...bear with me.

Earlier this week, our LUXE Cowgirl Yoga retreat was mentioned in a Lululemon blog post called rad retreats around the world. To celebrate, I did a bit of shopping on the lulu website. I've been torn about lulu for the last couple of years for multiple reasons, and expressed that here in 2009. I found last year's murder at the lulu store in the Washington DC area (my previous home) extremely disturbing. I know it's not necessarily lulu's fault, that someone killed someone else over yoga pants, but still. It's that thorny balance between being yogic and running a business that has tormented me since I went into the yoga business in 2002. So is it wrong that I wanted some of those pants? Or the fabulous "vinyasa scarf" that one of our Winter Wonderland retreaters was sporting last weekend...? I'm mulling that over (although the order has already been placed).

And I don't want to seem ungrateful for the shout out either, which opened with a line I wish I had come up with: If downward dogs followed by horse canters is your idea of a good time, look no further. When I was in college, I had to take a class in Business Ethics. I'm wondering about the need for a Yoga Business Ethics class in teacher trainings...? And one of the topics for discussion could be, Is it wrong to desire/buy lulu pants? And assigned reading could include Yoga Dork's ongoing commentary on all things lulu, addressing its business ethics, (at times bizarre) marketing, popularity, and addictive butt-enhancing pants with sharp wit.

Thoughts?