Interview with a Fire Spinning Yogini

Jessica Jane Smith taught the first yoga class I ever attended in Bozeman. She also taught on the very first retreat we offered. I was one of her first teachers when she opened Be the Change Yoga Studio. And lastly, we are 3 days apart in age. If you join us for our 5-day Cowgirl Yoga retreats in Bozeman this summer, you'll get to take class from Jessica and spend time in her lovely space, and soak up her lovely spirit.

What was the catalyst that led you to yoga, and ultimately led you to make it your life's passion?

I came to the yoga mat because it was a better alternative to where I was: in the dark, uncertain, and afraid about my life's choices. I knew I needed to do something. So the first step was off the couch and into class. I was uncomfortable, inflexible and humbled; but felt called back again and again. The practice became the stepping stones that returned me to my passion for life. So my life passion became sharing yoga with others.

Tell us about your yoga journey.

How to say when the journey began is impossible. I can see now how my mother was laying a foundation just by being herself. I thank her daily as my first teacher. I did not expect to teach as quickly as I was called to. When I first started out, I was in studios and gyms. I needed guidance and found Baron Baptiste's Teacher Training in Maya Tulum, in the back of Yoga Journal. That experience took me to my edge - and I flew! I went home and opened Yoga Power (which is still going strong. If you're in Dallas look it up!). So as an ex-Deadhead, I figured I'd follow Baron. I worked as an Assistant for the Baptiste Bootcamps/Personal Revolution Retreats/Yoga Journal Conferences. That fateful step led me to Montana, and to my now husband, who was the chef at a Level Two Teacher Training in Helena, MT. Now we live in Bozeman, and I opened Be The Change Yoga Studio here in 2008. The journey truly continues to amaze me - as I am blessed with an amazing group of teachers, friends, and family who continue to believe in the power of dreams coming true!

What inspires you the most? in your teaching/your practice/your life.

Inspiration is in the wind - hoist the sails! In the classroom, it's the students that inspire me. There are amazing people doing really cool things out there in our community. I get to be inspired by their joy, their struggle, their triumph and their presence every day. The practice inspires me simply by being so multi-faceted. Even though the journey started with emphasis on the physical, I am inspired to see that yoga is a foundation for everything. And like they say: it works, if you work it! Yoga has given me a path, a better road map for my life's choices. In life, I am inspired by my amazing family. My mom, dads (both biological and adopted), as well as my brothers have all showed me how life is never what we expect, and yet exactly what we are meant to receive. My husband, Jed, is my greatest inspiration just in being completely himself - and reminding me when I forget. Each day of life is inspiration - just take a step into it and you'll know.

Any advice for keeping yoga fresh?

To keep yoga fresh, I've had to let go of pre-conceived notions of what yoga is...and get back to beginner's mind. I have taken this into my new practice of Poi/Fire Spinning. It's something I saw a long time ago on a family river trip, and was reminded of recently. So practicing what I preach, I picked them up again and started to practice. I can hear all the teachers chanting Patthabi Jois: "Practice. Practice. Practice...All is coming". But it is a little different with balls of fire coming so close to the head. So I visualize Shiva dancing through the ring of fire, and this is my dance. This is my other practice. (I was also trying to have skiing as a practice - but I wasn't so fully committed. Next year...)

Fave yoga pose. Fave yoga music. Fave quote. Fave thing about Montana.

Let me preface by saying that I've never been good at picking faves, but... My favorite yoga posture these days is divided between handstand and forearm balance. I love to be upside-down, and continue to be humbled by impish fears. This summer will be fun to take this practice out into the soft grass and see what unfolds. My favorite yoga musicians are Krishna Das and Bhagavan Das. But I love the words of the Beatles, as well as singer/songwriter Alexi Murdoch. I could on about music (editor's note: wait til you hear the playlist she's got at the studio)...so I'll go on to the next question. My favorite quote is by Shel Silverstein: "Listen to the Mustn'ts, child. Listen to the Don'ts. Listen to the Shouldn'ts, the Impossibles, the Won'ts. Listen to the Never Haves, then listen close to me...Anything can happen, child. ANYTHING can be." My favorite thing about Montana...It's The Last Best Place (and I've been a lot of places).

Real Women find comfortable poses

Love the title of this profile featuring me today in the Bozeman Chronicle's Balance Magazine: "Finding a Comfortable Pose with Margaret Burns Vap, cowgirl yogini". I also love that I am a real woman. Real women find comfortable poses. Yeehaw and Namaste to that.
(Click on the image to enlarge it.)

Veg Curry à la Kate

Want some foodie inspiration for the weekend? Here's a recipe from Kate, one of our retreat chefs. If you join us for the 5-day Cowgirl Yoga this summer, you'll get to savor a special evening of Kate's cooking along with her sustainable eating chat, plus she will be joining us for a hike and sharing her extensive wildflower and plant knowledge. This recipe was enjoyed by our yoga & ski retreaters in March.

Thai Sticky Rice

• 1 cup thai sticky rice (or basmati)
• 2 cups water
• 1/2 cup toasted shredded coconut

Wash thai sticky rice three times through a sieve to get dirt and such out. Add water and rice together and bring to a boil; reduce to a simmer and cover for about fifteen minutes. All water should be absorbed, but the rice will be extremely sticky; remove from heat. As it cools down, add shredded toasted coconut and serve. Can be rolled into balls and served with a curry, like...

Red Thai Curry

Combine and cook in the oven at 350 for an hour until cooked:

• 1 block of firm tofu drained and dried, cut into 1/4" cubes
• 1/2 c tamari
• 1/2 c sesame oil

Add the following ingredients to hot pan or wok with enough sesame oil/safflower oil to coat, and stir constantly until onions are translucent:

• 1 minced onion
• 3 garlic cloves
• 1/2 cup minced ginger (fresh is best, don't do the powder or canned)
• 1 lemon grass stalk, finely chopped

Then add:

• 2 tbsp galangal root
• 4 tbsp red curry paste
• a few kefir lime leaves
• 1 bell pepper, julienned
• 2 carrots, julienned
• cooked tofu from the oven
• 1 cup sliced mushrooms (white is ok, but if available straw mushrooms are ideal, or fresh shittakes)

Cook for five minutes stirring constantly then add:

• 1 can organic coconut milk and and put on simmer/low on stove for about fifteen minutes, stirring occasionally to prevent burning bottom of pan
• finally add 2 cups of peas and 1 teaspoon of fish sauce

Remove from heat and taste.

• Add salt and 2 tbsp of fresh cilantro for garnish.

Kate recommends having a bowl of salty roasted peanuts on the side to add to the dish. For a spicier version, add more red curry paste and thai chilis for heat (but watch out, they are very hot!).

Montana: a reminder to make Earth Day every day

It's a balmy, sunny Earth Day in Montana. No weather drama today (yet). Earth Day sort of feels like New Year's - resolving to make changes to nurture the planet vs. destroy it. While I love what dedicating a day to this does for the collective consciousness, I also love the idea of it being an ongoing project. Like how we should aim to make positive changes in our lives more than once a year. I have a grocery sack that has these words printed on it: Earth Day every day. I'm a big believer in lots of little things adding up to be big. I've got two books that I revisit often for inspiration: the little gem 1,001 Ways to Save the Earth and Thomas Freidman's Hot Flat and Crowded.

Living in Montana has made me more aware of our impact on our home planet; I'm reminded every day of the need to preserve our beautiful surroundings. As an Earth Day tribute, I'm posting pictures of some of my fave places here that inspire me to make Earth Day every day, and that we hope inspire our retreat visitors to do the same. Happy Earth Day from one of the most beautiful places on the planet, in my humble opinion.

Meet Diane, another Cowgirl vs. Cancer

I'm thrilled to introduce Diane, our second Cowgirls vs. Cancer scholarship recipient who will be joining us on a Cowgirl Yoga retreat this summer. Diane is pictured here with her sister Katheryn Harlen, also a breast cancer survivor and founder of Through Healing Eyes.

It has been two years since my last cancer and, although it may seem pretty normal to some, my life since cancer has been one worth fighting for!

Next month my baby girl is graduating from UNCW with a degree in English and a high school teaching certificate. I am so proud and excited to see the next phase of her life unfold. Considering where she started, she has come a long way, much like my battle with cancer (or I should say, cancers).

Last week my 25 year old daughter called and needed a vacation, so she asked me to join her in Costa Rica for six days. We did nothing but relax! It was just what we needed. I am so honored that my daughter feels she can call and ask me to go on a vacation with her. When life is challenging and she needs her mother I am here! Cancer can take away many things, but it can’t take away being a mom.

Last month my husband and I had the privilege of taking care of our 15 month old granddaughter while the rest of her family traveled through California. Her mother, father and five month old sister were in quest of a suitable Doctorate program for Matt—her father/my son. We had the best time ever with our granddaughter—but I do know why God, in his infinite wisdom, gives babies to the young! Our granddaughter has been a guiding light throughout my cancer and recovery. She was born with Spina Bifida, and she never ceases to amaze me with her endless abilities and talents. She is currently going to therapeutic horseback riding!

In December, my husband and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. Wow, that's a really long time, yet it is hardly any time at all. We were looking at pictures taken shortly after we were married, and in my mind we still look the same but somehow the camera lies to me. I would not have become the woman that I am had I not married and had children and now grandchildren. Yet, here I am. I could say the same about my cancer. It has shaped me to be the person that I am, and I have lived with cancer—or the effects of cancer—for almost 35 years. I was first diagnosed with Hodgkin's Disease at the age of 19. I had surgery to remove my spleen and nine weeks of radiation treatments. I was told then that there was a good chance that I would be sterile. Thank goodness I wasn't because my children have enriched my life in ways that I could never have imagined.

My husband and I raised those children as best we saw fit, and life seemed to be normal--or as normal as it can be—owning our own business and having 3 children. Our life was exactly what anyone could ask for. However, as we all know, life has this mysterious way of changing courses when we least expect it. In 2001, with little time to think of myself, between the horseback riding lessons, surf contests, and cheerleading competitions, I was diagnosed with radiation induced chondrosarcoma of the breast. So, essentially, the treatment that saved my life previously, and allowed me to become a wife and mom, was now coming back to haunt me.

Looking back, at 19 I was only a baby, a baby who made a life-altering decision to reject a treatment that could one day ‘potentially’ ruin my chances of having children. If I had known I would be facing death once more, would I have still refused the treatment? Absolutely. I would never have traded a cancer-free life for the life I have led. Now, I would definitely give up the experience of cancer to keep the life I have but I don't think it works that way.

So, this treatment was a bit more intense. I had a bilateral mastectomy, 4 rounds of chemo, high dose chemo, an autologous stem cell transplant and more radiation. Whew! It took a village to allow me to be able to do that. My sister was my caregiver, while her husband graciously took on her role, and raised their two teenage children. My husband, unquestionably did the same—raising our children, and sitting effortlessly by my bedside. The stem cell transplant required many trips to Duke and a month-long stay taking care of a person that was pretty much a zombie. My children had to cope with a Mom that was completely out of it, and looked scary.

For six months straight, friends came every two or three days and brought food to my family. These memories remind me that there are so many gifts to be grateful for. Now, nine years later so many goals have been accomplished. All of the children have graduated from high school, gone on to college and graduated, my son married the perfect woman and has 2 darling little girls. My daughters are both perfect women, and my best friends.

There is one caveat in all of that perfection: I was diagnosed in 2007 with not one but two cancers at the same time. I should have realized that luck of some form or another was on my side and rushed out and bought a lottery ticket. This time I had Hodgkin's Disease (again) and Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. What are the odds of that? Again, I got to hear my doctors say, “Wow, I've never seen this before.” That's NOT what a patient wants to hear. So, again, I did 6 chemo treatments, and again so many wonderful people pitched in and helped. My room was redecorated when I came home from Duke. New sheets, a new robe, a new shower curtain, none of which I had asked for—but desperately needed. Food, as usual, just showed up, cards, prayers, almost anything we needed somehow just showed up! I do not know why, or how I became so lucky to have such thoughtful, beautiful souls in my life that know the exact right move to make without even asking me! I do not question why or how though, no point. God gives us these answers when he is ready.

I am 2 years out from that treatment and dealing with the Post Traumatic Stress syndrome of having had cancer, AGAIN. I have lots of ways to cope with that, some good and some not so good but I try to keep an attitude of gratitude and not let it get me down.

One way is yoga. Yoga is something that I have practiced since high school. Back then, I had to do it from a book since there were certainly no yoga studios in Nash County, NC. People thought it was a bit strange, too. Given my life story, it seemed fitting that others viewed it as strange. I have used yoga to breathe through many procedures as well as to get my strength back from various illnesses. I have also loved horses for as long as I can remember and I have had horses most of my life. I am blessed to have two “Happy Appys” (Appaloosas) right now, and they are also part of my therapy. So, when I read about Cowgirl Yoga in the spring of 2008 I knew right away that it was the catharsis I needed to renew myself after the last round of treatments. What could be better than combining two of my most vital therapies? (Diane attended a Cowgirl Yoga retreat in July, 2008.)

Just as marriage has changed me, as motherhood has changed me, as cancer has changed me, Cowgirl Yoga changed my life, and has had a huge impact on who I am today. When I read the email inviting me back as a Cowgirls vs. Cancer scholarship recipient, I was so honored and humbled. It is coming at a time when my soul needs a balm, and I know that I will benefit as much this time as I did last time. The Ranch camp retreat sounds like so much fun; I am already dreaming about sleeping under the clear night sky in Montana.

Today at the Cowgirl Yoga ranch

The wind of heaven is that which blows between a horse's ears.
-Arabian proverb

Yeehaw & Namaste: does that come in a bottle?

As I may have mentioned, it's time to switch my skis for my saddle. Despite the fact that just 2 days ago, it looked like the middle of winter here, with a big snowstorm dumping a fresh foot or so...today, it is sunny and almost 60 degrees, aforementioned snow mostly melted. This kind of thing doesn't surprise me anymore; I call it MT weather drama and it always keeps things exciting. I got a fascination with weather from my mother, and wonder if we both missed a calling there...anyhow, ski season officially ended this past weekend, so it's time to giddy up and get ready for Cowgirl Yoga season.

Morgane and I went riding this morning. I'm amazed at the difference a year can make in so many things; today I was saddling my own horse - as in MY OWN HORSE - and Morgane wasn't making my heart jump into my throat every 30 seconds by racing up behind some horse's bum, throwing a stick in the air to spook another, standing so close that one wrong move of a hoof might mean a flattened little foot, etc. Luckily I have Janice, mother of 3 girls now grown, master of all things horses, and good at being in charge. Of both of us, and all the horses too. After a few lessons in March, she felt that Morgane was ready to do more. I surrendered to that and made that whiny worried voice in my head promise to be quiet for at least a little while. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I grew up fearing injury from almost everything, and it's taken most of my adult life to bust out of that. I want my daughter to trust herself and her teachers when learning things I didn't as a child. This is supposed to be my gift to her.

We warmed up and rode out into the field, surrounded by the mountains and big sky. Janice had Morgane and her horse by a lead rope, while she rode Tango. My horse, Dude Boy, has a faster gait than either horse, so I ended up in front of them a lot. I had to stop turning around to see them and focus on what he and I were doing. I heard Janice telling Morgane to ask Starlight to trot and that whiny worried voice starting saying very loudly OMG TROT WHAT IF SHE FALLS OFF WHAT WILL WE DO IS SHE READY TO TROT BY HERSELF when it was interrupted by the loudest, most deeply joyful giggling I've ever heard from my daughter. And all around the field it continued, with Morgane asking, May we trot again please? Faster? And laughing like I've never heard her laugh every time they did.

As I watched her, my anxiety dissolved when I saw how utterly relaxed she was in the saddle, letting the movement of the horse move her, completely absorbed in the moment and the full, juicy experience it was giving her. And I would start to laugh too, while the whiny worried voice was squelched to a whimper. I think I might give almost anything to capture that moment for myself as an adult, bottle it and open as needed: the lack of fear, the being fully present in the moment, the joyful open heart. And I was reminded of how close yoga can come to providing this feeling that my daughter was enjoying. It's all good: yoga, horses, Montana. We are lucky girls. Yeehaw & Namaste.

What is yoga anyway?

I was musing about what to write next in the yoga philosophy category, and it was starting to feel complicated. So I thought I'd backpedal a little, and address the basic question of what is yoga anyway? Lots of long books have been written about this question over the last few thousand years. But since my approach is to figure out how all these things apply to 21st century living, I'm going to break it down. A lot. But I also think that's what it's all about - what can you take from the many aspects of yoga and make your own practice? What follows are 2 of the top FAQs I've been asked during my yoga teaching journey.

What is yoga anyway? With roots that go back almost 5,000 years, yoga is one of the oldest holistic health care systems in existence. The Sanskrit word 'yoga' literally means 'union'. In the practice of yoga, a connection is established between mind, body and spirit. As with all ancient traditions, at first yoga was communicated orally. Then about 2,000 years ago the Indian sage Patanjali compiled the Yoga Sutra, a written collection of 195 practical life lessons that form the foundation of yoga philosophy. The Yoga Sutra also outlines the eight-limbed path:

1) Yamas (restraints)
2) Niyamas (observances)
3) Asana (physical postures)
4) Pranayama (breath work)
5) Pratyahara (sense withdrawal, turning inward)
6) Dharana (concentration)
7) Dhyana (meditation)
8) Samadhi (liberation, enlightenment)

In exploring these eight limbs, we start by examining and refining our behavior in the outer world, and then turn our focus inwards until we reach samadhi. Today, most Westerners practicing yoga are engaged in the third limb, asana, the physical postures. The original intent of asana was to prepare the body to sit comfortably for long periods of meditation, ultimately transcending the physical body towards enlightenment.

That said, what if...

I love the physical yoga (asana). What about yoga philosophy - is it really applicable to a modern yogi?
Asana is only one part of the eight-limbed path to yoga. After teaching yoga for many years as my full-time 'job'. I've developed my own theory why asana is the emphasis of yoga today, as I've seen it in my own experience and that of my students. Our modern lifestyle has come so far away from the quieter, more contemplative eras before technology. There is virtually no attention span for philosophical and 'lofty' concepts if they don't produce quick results. I'm convinced that today's yoga is essentially a process for learning to slow down; we have to re-learn how to do this in the unforgivingly fast pace of the world we inhabit.

Even after recognizing this through my own yoga practice, it remains an ongoing challenge to incorporate into my life. There are very few people who begin their yoga practice with another of the eight limbs; asana is the most appealing and relevant to modern lives. Asana is the gateway to the philosophy behind yoga. Through asana we're able to be present in our bodies and minds in new (old? ancient but forgotten?) ways, and this invites us to explore the other limbs when we're more ready. These explorations may very well occur during our asana practice. Of course, the potential drawback to beginning a yoga practice with asana is that one might never move beyond it - perhaps the people who are only doing yoga as a workout or because it's hip - but I believe there is something much more compelling to asana that will bring people along a path to the other limbs if they are open and allow the experience. Asana practice won't change everyone, but I also believe the immense popularity of yoga cannot be attributed to asana alone. It's the holistic experience of the eight limbs, whether recognized by the practitioner or not, that have contributed to yoga's appeal.

What do you think? Which of the eight limbs would you like me to wrangle with next?

Cowgirls vs. Cancer's Amy rides towards the finish line

Thanks to Amy, guest blogger and 2010 Cowgirls vs. Cancer scholarship recipient. She blogs here monthly on her journey through breast cancer treatment.

It's wet and rainy here - typical Wisconsin in April. But I'm all sunshine inside as I'm celebrating the end of radiation and cancer treatment. Although the year was rough, at least my timing was good; spring is a great time of year for me in general, and this year is exceptional. My hair is growing back at the same time the backyard is greening up. It seems so symbolic. At the very least, the end of a Wisconsin winter is worth celebrating. And this year, winter was more then cold - it was dark and ugly.

But that chapter has slammed shut. It feels great to look ahead as I plan for summer. In addition to the kids' camps, family getaways, and grilling out with friends (editor's note: AND COWGIRL YOGA in July, YEEHAW!), I have enrolled in an anatomy and physiology class and some other yoga teacher trainings this summer. With my last child going to Kindergarten this year, paired with a life changing experience, I have decided to take my passion for yoga to the next level. I must admit that a year of cancer treatments and surgeries has been pretty tough on my ability to pose, but I am amazed how the strength of the body is slowly returning as I have added a daily practice to my life again. The idea of teaching and improving others' quality of life through an understanding of yoga has always brought me joy.

A quick recap on my progress: one more radiation treatment and I'm done (editor's note: can I get another YEEHAW!!!). It was pleasantly uneventful. I was a bit tired, but as a mom of four, I can handle tired. The skin on my left breast looks like I have a bad sunburn; it has blistered and it itches. Again, the irony of all these treatments never escapes me; after years of faithfully slathering SPF 30 on my skin, I now make daily trips to the hospital to voluntarily fry it. It helps to visualize those rays scorching the last remains of any cancer cells.

My plastic surgeon is trying to talk me into a latisimus flap, where they cut and rotate the latisimus muscle in towards the breast, to create a natural looking breast. I'm trying to talk him into simple implants because I'm really afraid of losing my range of motion. These doctors don’t quite understand when I tell them I want to still be able to do urdhva dhanurasana wheel pose when I'm completely finished. Actually, they laugh.

I do have one more surgery (sigh), but at least this time I'm going into it seeing the finish line. SO worth celebrating. Welcome Spring!

The 5 Warrior Warm-Up

Need an energy boost on a Monday? Unleash your inner Warrior to help you tackle the rest of the week. The 5 Warrior Warm-Up is my latest yoga tutorial on the Athleta Chi. I designed this one for the non-yogis, in an attempt to convert them. Because my philosophy is that yoga helps you do anything better, and it’s my mission to prove it. Plus there's a bonus, the Burnin' Down Dog. I'm thinking that might intrigue you enough to hop on over to the Chi and check it out. Please post your comments there. Here's me in one of my all-time faves, reverse warrior. If you're liking what I'm wearing, it's the Pavitra top in Blue Spark Cowgirl (of course), and the Kickbooty pant.

Snow bunnies, for real

Woke up to snow yesterday morning, for the annual Easter egg hunt at the Museum of the Rockies (or as we call it, the Dino museum). It was great - Morgane loved hunting for the snow-covered eggs, and the softly falling flakes gave the event a magical effect. And I thought to myself, not for the first time and certainly not the last, only in Montana. Happy Easter.