Thursday, October 28, 2010

An American Cowgirl in London


I've been sitting on this for a few weeks now...it's one of those things that's taken awhile to sink in. My family is going to live in London for the winter, for husband's job. It's kind of funny to reduce all the emotions, discussions, planning, etc. swirling around this event into one simple sentence. I'm embracing this opportunity to 'study abroad' at age 40 (we'll celebrate my 40th this coming february), after initially resisting, attempting to say no, and, well, panicking. And as one good friend reminded me, I had the same exact reaction when husband first suggested we move to Montana. So, I'm packing my Luccheses for London, and leaving MT until spring.

I'm slightly embarrassed to say that one of my first thoughts (besides who's going to take care of the dogs) was, what the hell am I going to wear? Every now and then that city girl stuff resurfaces. And I've spent an embarrassing amount of time the last few weeks shopping for the list of 'London must-haves' I've created in my head. I think it's been my way of dealing with the fear of change. Wasn't I just talking about a change doing me good? Didn't see this one coming. But it's good. There's a Jivamukti studio in London, and I am thrilled at the prospect of immersing myself in my own yoga studies for a few months, after a busy retreat season, and fueling my yogic fires for the 2011 retreats. Exciting! When I've been awake with angst, I've perused guidebooks to spark my interest in English history. One day, I realized there's a chance I may even get a Daniel Craig sighting, and was all smiles about that. But best of all, I can't get over the excitement of traveling with my 5-year old daughter. I told her about all the old castles we would be visiting, and her eyes got wide as she asked, "Mom, do real princesses live there??"

During this time of anticipating change, I've been doing a lot of bakasana, crow pose. It's definitely a confidence-booster, and I love the feeling of literally kicking up my heels. It's a reminder to stay connected to my core, my center, or I'll fall. That's a good lesson to take off the mat, especially during times of transition. I may be fretting about what I'll wear, but another reminder came from same friend (who, btw, is from London), when she said: "You'll have all you need with you: your family, yourself." And my yoga. Namaste.
Photo by Larry Stanley

5 comments:

Shelley said...

Oh, how fun!! Sounds like a very exciting opportunity for you and your family! Embrace it. I wish I could go live in Montana for the winter! I could watch your dogs! But then who would watch mine? lol I've always wondered what kind of work your husband does. Best of luck to you.
Shelley

Shelley said...

...btw, my favorite boots are my hot pink Lucchese's!! And if I can somehow find a way to go to cowgirl yoga camp next summer, I'm bringing them with me!

Sheila said...

I think your love for yoga will lead you right into the arms of another welcoming yoga community in London, surely full of people who will help you and your daughter find a way to feel at home in a new place.

As the wife of a soldier I am often left at home "holding down the fort" for our two kids, and considering the loss of what keeps us stable here -- caring friends, school, work, my wonderful book club -- occasionally can set me into a tailspin, too. When you follow your husband somewhere, he is guaranteed to be busy with work, but the unknown for yourself and child(ren) is unsettling.

Clothes are just a small part of a larger fear of fitting into a new place. Those fears will surely shift, but I am sure you have developed your own great strength of being in Montana that will serve you well in Europe.

See as much as you can! It is a blessing that your daughter is at such a great age to enjoy exploring. I will enjoy seeing your photos and hearing about your adventures!

-A virtual friend in Champaign, IL

kookaburrablog.com said...

I've just come across your blog and I think it's wonderful. I love your attitude towards your big move, and it will be a success because of the way you are approaching it.

I recently moved from Melbourne, Australia to a small town in Manitoba, Canada, and will be here for just six months. It is so different to what I'm used to, from clothing to attitude to landscape. It has been a great opportunity for personal growth. It's always great to shake life up a little.
Brigid

Margaret Burns Vap said...

Thanks everyone for your encouragement! It's always so great for me to know you are out there. Namaste.