Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Lessons in being
I've been blogging a lot less than I'd like to. In fact, I've been doing a lot less than I'd like to, overall. I came down with the dreaded summer cold, which took hold and refuses to let go. Started antibiotics, which only seemed to bring on an intense coughing phase. Slowly but surely, I'm feeling like myself again. It's always such a humbling experience to be sick. It's a reminder of what a gift it is to be healthy. I've also been reminded of the lesson that I so often teach, yet don't seem to live by as much as I damn well should: being present. I'm always asking my students and retreaters to leave things behind so they can focus on being, and not to worry or anticipate what's next either. Easier said than done, huh. I've mentioned before the delight I find in being a planner, and how it throws me when things don't go as planned...well, who plans on getting sick? Ugh. All plans have been out the window for the last week.
Yesterday, after teaching my regular Tuesday morning yoga class and apologizing for my coughing fits, I took class from the lovely Autumn (who, btw, will be teaching on our August Cowgirl Yoga Ranch Camp and September's Eat Pray Love Yoga Weekend). After a week plus of inactivity, I was desperate for movement, but I didn't quite know how my body would react. What I found was an astonishing openness, not only in my body, but TO THE PRESENT MOMENT. Hooray! I brought very little expectations to the practice; in fact, I was expecting I might have to leave class. What happened was on the opposite end of the spectrum. I felt connected to my body and breath, and to the present moment, in a strongly simple way. I felt good, for the first time in over a week. We get so wrapped up in things and confused by our minds, expectations, and perceptions of past/present - what absolute freedom to just let go. I know, easier said than done, again. But such an unplanned gift reminded me that it's ok when plans go awry.
However, I will admit that I am secretly happy about the re-scheduling of plans for this week. (Wink, wink.)