Clouds to fish?

Last night, I went in to check on Morgane after I thought she had fallen asleep. She was sleepy but still awake, and reached up to hug me as she said, "mom, I'll love you til the clouds turn into fish". Making me emotional and laugh really hard at the same time. What a potent mix. 

Raw Mom

Wowza. Be forewarned that this post falls entirely under the "motherhood" category, and it may not be G-rated. I am just back from our trip to Denver and am feeling utterly defeated by my toddler. As my husband puts it, she is in charge right now (gee, thanks honey!). I had a moment this morning at the Denver airport, after racing across what must be MILES of terminal, escalators and interminable check in and security lines, where I saw myself from the outside and this little voice inside my head said, I never thought I'd be one of those people. I was about 100 feet from our gate, NUMBER EIGHTY SEVEN, dragging a screaming and crying Morgane by one arm and trying to run as they called our name on the overhead right there along with the final boarding call announcement. It was a scene right out of some bad parenting movie. Upon arriving at the gate, the airline employee asked me to "allow your daughter to calm down" before we boarded the plane. I just about burst into tears as I fully realized what all this looked like to her - frazzled, out of control mother practically abusing her child, late for the plane due to lack of poor planning. My own damn fault. Well, in my defense had I known our gate was #87, perhaps I would have had us leave for the airport earlier than 6 am (which already felt pretty early to me). On the plane, I was overcome with remorse at behaving like a crazy person and expecting Morgane to understand the urgency behind not missing our flight. I was overcome with remorse for the anger I felt at her for holding us back. I played the scene over and over again in my head and beat myself up for not handling it with more grace. Hours later and back home, I am still feeling raw as I plow through all the post-trip busywork to be done. I am trying to give myself a break for being human. What an ending to four days of blissful self-reflection on the yoga mat...hhhmmmm. Perhaps it would have been worse had I not had all the yoga. In my last post I mentioned the "raw and pure emotions" of a 3 year old...well, the emotions of motherhood are pretty raw too. Moms, I would welcome your input on this...

Through a child's eyes

Day 3 of our little getaway to Denver. It's so refreshing to be someplace new and explore. Two things that are standing out for me right now are seeing everything through a child's eyes, and the immense value of yoga. Like I needed to be sold on the latter, but after the special treat of being able to go to yoga class 3 days in a row I'm definitely feeling a renewal of spirit and am in love all over again. But back to the first thing: Morgane hasn't been on a plane recently, so the short flight here was a riot, watching her amazement at something most adults dread. The wide-eyed wonder at it all made me stop and think about what it is like to see things through a child's eyes, and not take anything for granted. A 3 year old experiences raw, pure emotion, all the time. Sometimes a challenge for the adults involved, but often times a reminder at how to live in the moment. I think I took this with me into my yoga classes here, because I've truly been able to connect to my practice and be present on the mat. I'm sure it helps that I'm in a new place without expectations or distractions, sharing practice with yogis I don't know, allowing myself to be in vacation mode so I'm not cramming my yoga into the only time window I can find in between the rest of my life. It reminds me of why we do yoga in the first place, for that feeling of being able to unite body and mind, and loving how that feels. If you're stuck in rut with your practice, and you've lost that loving feeling, shake it up a bit by trying out a new studio, a new style, and try to see things through a child's eyes on the yoga mat - with amazement and wide-eyed wonder. Namaste.
Picture is of Morgane at the Denver Aquarium

Denver-bound

It's been a high-energy week so far, in contrast to last week where I definitely felt myself dragging. I've pushed through some challenging cardio workouts, taught what I thought was a very challenging Tuesday morning yoga class (as in, I was in the mood to kick my students' butts), and had an acupuncture session that has left me buzzing. It's interesting to note energetic shifts like this. I'm loving it, but this kind of energy "high" can also leave me feeling a bit ungrounded. Time for a restorative yoga pose or two to settle things down.

Contributing to the buzz is the anticipation of a little getaway to Denver to see my sis-in-law and her hubby. I'm leaving tomorrow morning with Morgane for a girls' weekend in the city. I find it hard to believe that I haven't left the state of Montana in over a year. Truth be told, I am quite a homebody; give me my family, my yoga, my kitchen to cook in...I used to thrive on travel. But then again, when you live in a place where everyone wants to come to for vacation, your perspective is a bit different. I'm looking forward to seeing my sis-in-law's swanky new place, checking out all her fave food and shopping spots, and am positively gleeful at the prospect of a yoga class in a different studio every day we are there. Have a lovely weekend.

Tattoo top

I am in love with my new tattoo top. It's warm, soft and sexy, catches everyone's eye, and puts a big beautiful lotus flower in front of your belly button. Yesterday I had photos taken for a series I am writing on yoga and skiing, and I got to wear my new favorite piece from the Athleta winter lineup. I am wearing it again today. I'm not sure when I'm going to take it off. If you like it, order it fast before they sell out: www.athleta.com.

The Joy of Pumpkins

It's full-blown October at our house: Morgane is hooked on watching the DVD I got her of It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, we've got all kinds of pumpkins decorating the house, and today is so beautiful out that we headed to the pumpkin patch at a nearby farm for a hayride and other fun fall stuff. It was super busy - we actually had to wait in line for the hay ride, something I am no longer used to since Bozeman ain't exactly the big city - and by the end of our visit I was sneezing like crazy from all the hay. Oh well, it was worth the joy of pumpkins that Morgane so clearly experienced. She is wearing this crazy, beautiful floral print dress from Hanna Andersson that I've decided is a visual representation of her exuberant personality. Had to share some pumpkin pix, now excuse me while I see if my neti pot will stop my sneezing. 

Namaste Wine

Think yoga and wine don't really go together? Think again. We keep proving that wrong on all our retreats...in a good way, of course. I myself subscribe to the health benefits of a glass of red wine in particular, not to mention the sheer pleasure of sipping and savoring. 

We had a repeat retreater here last week (her second round with Big Sky Yoga!) from Oregon. Oregon wine has been showing up frequently on the wine circuit, especially pinot noirs. Lori discovered a winery in the Willamette Valley called - you will love this - Namaste Vineyards. We HAD to have it on our retreat...so she arranged to have a case sent to the lodge for a special tasting event on our last evening. 

Namaste Vineyard's slogan is, "the spirit of the wine honors the spirit of the vine". The vintage names include Prosperity & Abundance for Pinots, a Tranquility Riesling, and a Serenity Chardonnay. 

Check it out at www.namastevineyards.com. And like Lori, I hope that these lovely wines will make a repeat appearance at upcoming retreats. Cheers and Namaste.

Poem

One of our retreaters from last week wrote me a poem. ME, a poem! Needless to say I am honored and very touched. She also put together this amazing slide show from our week together, that we got to watch on our last night, and she opened with the poem. To ME. Wow. It's still bringing tears to my eyes and lightness to my heart, so I wanted to share it here, along with a great picture of the girls with the inspirational Lone Peak in the background.

Namaste, by Carole

Strengthen your core

Breathe in, breathe out;

All that you need is here. 

Be open, let go

Focus, and flow;

It's time to release the fear.

Woolen hats, yoga mats

Let the process begin;

The sun is shining warm and bright

Find your teacher within.

Be kind, unwind

Time to shine your light;

Fold, bend, stand tall with peace;

Let your heart take flight.

Sun salutes and plank

Bring your mind to the now.

Hands to your heart;

Fold, Cobra, Cat, and Cow.

Go deep, surrender, 

Start your yoga quest; 

Feel grounded, stay calm, 

Be whole and all so blessed.

Strengthen your core

Breathe in, breathe out;

All that you need is here.

Be open, let go

Focus, and flow;

It's time to release the fear.

With utmost gratitude, Carole, the divine in me honors the divine in you. Namaste.

Let it snow?

Hard to believe that on thursday we were hiking in crisp, sunny fall weather. It's been snowing here since Friday - the first big winter storm of the season. Winter storm in early October? You know what I am going to say - this is Montana. My family has spent the weekend catching up together after a hectic couple of weeks, nesting at home while the snow falls outside. We snuggled up by our first fire of the season, read lots of books and magazines, and I've been cooking up a storm. Despite the wintery weather, pumpkin has been the predominant theme. It may be snowing outside, but the calendar says October. I typically kick off my favorite couple of months with a big shift in the ingredients I use in my cooking, and nothing says fall more than an infusion of pumpkin. Pumpkin is rich is carotenoids, which neutralize free radicals, and beta-carotene, a potent antioxidant. Not up for skinning a fresh one? Canned pumpkin appears to have much more vitamin A than fresh-cooked pumpkin. This may be due to the fact that canned pumpkin has more water cooked out of it than boiled pumpkin, and the varieties used for canning have intense orange color, a sure sign of carotene. Pumpkin is a good source of fiber, and adds a little iron and folate to your diet too. 

Here's one of my fave fall soups that is super easy and healthy:

Curried Pumpkin Soup

• 3 tablespoons olive oil
  
• 2 cups finely chopped onions
  
• 1 green bell pepper, chopped
  
• 1 teaspoon of curry powder (add more to taste)
  
• 3-3 1/2 cups (more if needed) low-sodium chicken broth
  
• 1 15 oz. can pure pumpkin
  
• 1 cup (or more to taste) frozen corn
  
• 1 15 oz can diced tomatoes plus juice
  
• 1/2 teaspoon dried sage
  
• 1 cup (packed) grated extra-sharp cheddar cheese
  

Cook's notes: 

• When buying canned pumpkin, avoid those with added sweeteners, spices and artificial preservatives. 
  
• Substitute vegetable broth for chicken broth, for a vegetarian soup
  

1. Heat oil in heavy large pot over medium heat. Add onions and bell pepper; saute until veggies begin to soften, about 8 minutes.
   
2. Add curry powder and stir one minute. Add broth and next 4 ingredients and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer at least 15 minutes to blend flavors, stirring frequently. 
   
3. Season with salt and pepper. Ladle soup into bowls and top with cheese. 
   

Make a double batch and freeze it for an easy weeknight dinner. Anyone else have some yummy pumpkin recipes to share? 

Gratitude

I am feeling overwhelmed with gratitude right now. Just returned home from our week-long retreat; this morning we discussed the perils of "re-entry" post-retreat, and how to transition back into regular life after meaningful time away...as the retreat leader, I go through the same process. And it isn't always fun. You realize truths about your life that are potent, deeply moving, and often times disturbing on a certain level. This time though, I am overflowing with thankfulness. One of our retreaters kept mentioning the word "gratitude" all week, and it's stuck with me. Things I am grateful for from this last week:

• the healing power of laughter - we laughed so hard my cheeks constantly hurt
  
• the power of nature to inspire and soothe
• repeat visits from our moose family
  
• Montana weather, giving us sunshine, dramatic transitions, and one of the season's first snowfalls
  
• fabulous fall scenery out of a photographer's dream
• being woken up by elk bugling and owls hooting
  
• hikes on porcupine creek, beehive basin, daley creek, ousel falls and lava lake
  
• Chuck, his breakfast recipes including the 24-hour caramelized french toast & "eggs McChuck", the trail lunches he packed for us, and his farm animals
  
• wine by the fire, especially from Namaste Vineyards (more to come on that)
  
• Polo and his exquisite 5-course dinner menus
  
• favorite actors
  
• photo slide shows and poems
  
• YOGA
  

THANK YOU to people, animals and natural phenomena for all coming together in an unforgettable way, to create an unforgettable week. 

Animal Extravaganza

I'm on our yoga and hiking week-long retreat, and we've had quite the animal extravaganza here in Big Sky...the other evening, a family of moose put on a before-dinner show for us by parading around the lodge for over 45 minutes. A mom and 2 babies (which is apparently very rare, moose typically only have one offspring at a time), and a male who we thought was the dad until we were informed that moose do not stay together in a family unit. They ate from the trees, drank from the outdoor water fountains, and watched us as much as we watched them. What a treat! Pictures to come post-retreat. Although we're at the tail end of elk mating season, we've heard them bugling, seen a huge bull waltz in front of our car at 6 am (we were all awake after that!), and spotted another bull herding his harem. And this morning we did a sunrise elk-spotting hike. In addition to all the animal thrills, we've hiked at least 6 miles a day and practiced tons of yoga. And did I mention the food? We've done a lot of good solid eating too. It doesn't get much better than this. What a great way to celebrate the fall season.

Breathe

So a series of events that culminated in having our internet and phone service shut down left me feeling frantic. Besides the obvious addiction to email from which I suffer, I've been pondering why being cut off made me feel so disconnected. And that's exactly what it was - a big disconnect. Not only do I rely on the internet to run my business, I also use it to get my news, to communicate with clients, friends and family. I guess it's no wonder I was so worked up. One could argue the value of savoring this time away from technology - as the woman from Qwest attempted to tell me on my tenth or so call within 24 hours to plead for reconnection asap - but I like to designate this time myself vs. having it thrust upon me by surprise. Nonetheless, a valuable lesson in letting go...that I can reflect upon with more equanimity now that I am reconnected!

I should have been wearing my Breathe shirt from Chewylou Designs...as a reminder to not hyperventilate over loss of internet. I'm wearing it in this picture from last weekend's high altitude hike (and yes, that is a bag of chips in my hand, no guilt at 8,000 feet). 

The back of the shirt reads:

Believe

Release

Expand

Align

Trust

Heal 

Exhale

Chewylou's founder Alyssa attended our yoga & hiking retreat last weekend, and I was the lucky recipient of a goodie bag of shirts with these valuable insights and reminders of how to live more fully. We know all this - it's deep inside ourselves - but how cool to wear the reminder over our hearts? In stylish colors too. Thanks Alyssa, for the inspiring words to wear.