Yikes, I've been very delinquent on blogging. It's like when you have a journal and you know you need to write in it, but so much is swirling around in your head that you don't even know where to start. The same life swirling that leads us to our yoga mat to try and sort it all out with some clarity of heart and mind...I must confess that the last few weeks have been challenging for me in many ways, so the aforementioned clarity has been pretty elusive. First of all, my 3 year old Morgane and I are doing the power-struggle dance. Mostly over nap time and sleeping in one bed, vs. every bed in our house. I have been clinging to sacred nap time like Morgane clings to her "pink blankie", since it is one of the few windows in the day that I can actually hear myself think. But there is a lesson in letting go here, right? The more I push the nap, the harder it will be. So I backed off, and as it turns out, she just isn't sleepy at the same time anymore. Who knew? Now that we've got that figured out the struggle is gone. Poof. Just like that. I believe this knowledge is somewhere within all of us - that the more we struggle and force things to happen, the less likely the desired outcome will be. But it sure is tough to tap into just when we need it most.
And while I have had the wonderful opportunity to teach a lot of yoga lately - to our group of cowgirl yoginis on our last summer retreat - my own practice has suffered a bit on account of schedule disruptions and other distractions. I always find it a bit ironic to not be on my mat as often as I have deemed necessary, given my profession...but I've been here before. It is challenging for everyone, including yoga teachers, to be as dedicated as we would like sometimes. So I know it is temporary, and that soon enough I will find my yoga groove again. Meanwhile, I need to practice yoga off the mat too. I've recently found inspiration and intention in a Sanskrit saying: lokah samastah sukhino bhavantu. It means, may all beings everywhere be happy and free. It's felt really appropriate to call upon during our retreats this summer, when humans, horses, and nature have merged and we've all been asked to honor and respect one other. It's also something to remember in times of anger, conflict and when things just aren't going the way we want them to. Because ultimately what we all want is to be happy and free. And sometimes, we need to give up the fight in order to get there.
Labels: Motherhood, Yoga