Cowgirls vs. Cancer, DC style

It's fairly rare for me to wish to be someplace besides Montana. But over Mother's Day weekend, I was wishing I was back in DC, to be part of the Cowgirls vs. Cancer excitement set into motion by one fine lady - Peg Mulqueen (who, it should be noted, has one cowgirl boot here in Bozeman, where she spends summers and her daughter attends school). Peg caused a ripple effect in the DC area, tirelessly raising awareness and funds for our Cowgirls vs. Cancer program.

Peg dedicated her boot-stomping, cancer-kicking classes over the weekend to the cause, and rallied DC yogis to give. I was glued to my laptop, essentially watching what was happening in real time as she posted Facebook updates and the donations rolled in. I know what we do here for breast cancer survivors is amazing - after all, I've seen it in action - but to be able to communicate that to people who may have never heard of us before, and ask them to be a part of it through donations, is beyond amazing. And to be able to communicate all that through yoga - should I say the A word again??

Following the FUNdraising weekend extravaganza, one of this year's scholarship recipients who will be here in June emailed Peg this thank you note. Which she promptly passed along on her blog, with the words her note isn't meant for me - it's meant for you. Because one person becomes many. Together we can all make a difference to kick cancer's ass. As Peg put it: You will help change a woman's life...a mother, a sister, a daughter. Cancer is life-changing, that's for sure. It's my hope that Cowgirls vs. Cancer is also life-changing, in an entirely different way.

This is just one of the many times I have marveled at the way yoga brings people together, to do good. Love, gratitude, and a Big Sky-sized thank you to Peg, and to the DC yoga community, for joining forces/yoga mats with us in the fight against cancer. Yeehaw & Namaste.

Photos by Meghan Powell

Messy motherhood moments, and how my mat fits in

Today, I am grateful for the way some time on my mat can help me navigate the tempestuous waters of last week's emotional overload. And since it's Mother's Day, I guess it is somewhat appropriate that a big chunk of that stems from stormy seas with 7 year old. As in, big trouble at school, the call-mom-in-to-meet type. Twice in one week. Which left me feeling quite lost at sea, and to continue the watery theme, in tears. A lot.

I'm not going to lie, I experienced the almost out-of-body moment where I had the thought, hey, are you sure you have the right kid? Surely we cannot be talking about MY child. And I had many moments when I wondered what people with more than one kid do, how is it I cannot even manage ONE? And so on and so on, monkey mamma mind at its finest. I bought a box of donuts one day, a bag of chips the next. (But I did also put in the mat time, or I'm guessing the stress eating would have been even worse.) Somehow, I stumbled upon this article, To Parents of Small Children: Let Me Be The One Who Says It Out Loud, that had me laughing through the tears and reading the following lines over and over:

You are not a terrible parent if you can't figure out how to calmly give them appropriate consequences in real time for every single act of terrorism that they so creatively devise.
You are not a terrible parent if you just can't wait for them to go to bed.

You are not a terrible parent if the sound of their voices sometimes makes you want to drink and never stop.

Motherhood empowered me. It felt like I took off for the moon once I had my daughter. I loved and lived more intensely and passionately than I ever had before. But needless to say, there have been plenty of moments where I've wondered what the hell I am doing. And it takes strength to realize that that's ok. It takes lots of moments on my mat.

Last night I hosted a girls' night at my house that I planned weeks ago, before the drama with 7 year old and before husband got sick as a dog. I found that my frazzled edges softened as I spent the evening with other women, moms and non-moms alike, who nurture on a daily basis. We are in this together. We can help each other navigate when the waters get choppy. 7 year old had to miss the party and serve time with sick husband downstairs, as a consequence. And given the circumstances, that got messy and she ended up at the party anyways. Call me a bad mom for not following through, but by the end of the evening, somehow it had all worked out.

Motherhood can be messy. Sloppy kisses, spilled shit all over the floor and everyone's clothing, red hot emotional intensity, getting called into school for naughtiness. I take all that messiness onto my mat, and when I'm done, everything feels neat again. Namaste, and a happy and sweet Mother's Day to you.

Cowgirl Yoga in Washington DC

Spring time in Montana also means it's time for our Cowgirls vs. Cancer fundraiser. I am thrilled to share that there will be not just one, but two fundraisers next month. It's always been interesting to me how yoga has connected dots that might have otherwise not come together; and how in our world of social media, yoga is the ultimate connection.

In addition to our May 30 yoga fundraiser in Bozeman (deets coming soon) - one of my fave DC yoga people will be teaching a class to benefit Cowgirls vs. Cancer at the DC studio that has the name of my former studio, Georgetown Yoga. Peg Mulqueen is also a Montana girl, and spends summers here. Are you connecting all those dots...?

If you are in the Washington DC area, join Peg the evening of May 10 at Georgetown Yoga and add a little Yeehaw to your Namaste for a good cause. You can sign up online here.

I love Bozeman, spring edition

I'm back in the Bozeman groove, and gearing up for retreat season. In typical Montana fashion, spring has felt a lot like winter, but the forecast for next week promises a sweet taste of spring. I'm getting back in the saddle (literally), and looking forward to getting to know my new horse Java - aka, my spring fling - better. I'm starting to plan hikes to check out for retreats later in the season. Fellow retreat leader Autumn and I immersed ourselves in a Wilderness First Aid course this past weekend, studying up on things I hope we never have to use (but that I'm definitely glad we know!). And I've got that itch that comes at least once a season to visit Yellowstone National Park, and see all the new animal babies (did you know that elk, fox, deer, bighorn sheep, wolves and badgers all give birth between March and June?).

Speaking of Yellowstone, the spring issue of Outside Bozeman included this little gem on the Hidden Paradise of Tom Miner Basin, which is where we hold our fall Yoga & Yellowstone retreats. We visit the Gallatin Petrified Forest on one of our hikes. Here's another great article from the same issue, Spring in America's Serengeti.

And on the topic of retreats...The Huffington Post just included us in their list of the 8 Best Yoga Retreats in the U.S. Can I get a Yeehaw and Namaste? This time of year always feels full of anticipation, of the new friends we'll meet in Montana on retreat soon, and of the many Montana-moments we'll share.

The sandhill cranes are back, like old friends, their eerie yet familiar call echoing. It will be sunny and springlike this coming week, and then probably snow the next. Ski season is over, so we plot the next season's outdoor adventures. It's spring fever, Montana-style.

Image from Intrigue Ink.

The comfort of my mat

We returned from a two week trip to Japan on Saturday. In a jet lagged daze, I went for my violin lesson yesterday, and reported this to my teacher: I didn't practice. I was really sick, then my dog died, and then we went to Japan. And then I burst into tears. She hugged me. And truthfully, despite the tears and jet lag, despite not practicing, I knew that deep inside that I was grateful. Grateful to be there for my lesson, and grateful for the many blessings in my life.

I am nourished by routine and consistency. Honestly, I don't like surprises much. Call me a party pooper (husband does). I understand and appreciate the need for novelty, but if I had to choose, I'd swing the balance in favor of routine. My yoga (and violin) practice are part of that comfort. Coming to the mat is a slice of calm in a chaotic world - we always have some surprises there, but can overall expect to feel very safe on our 24" x 68" space.

My yoga practice and my routine were disrupted by travel and life these last few weeks. If you visit a place like Japan, it's pretty hard to say, "I must go practice yoga now" when there is so much to see and do (not to mention, the size of our hotel rooms wouldn't allow for a mat). As we visited Shinto shrines and Buddhist temples in Japan, I felt that became my practice. It certainly evoked some of the same feelings of peace that I find through yoga. I was reminded that even when I'm not officially practicing, the practice is always with me.

And as I come to my mat today, I reflect on the many happenings between practices. The comfort of my mat gives me the courage to cope with the more challenging surprises. I am grateful. Namaste.

Remembering Rocco

It's a bittersweet Easter for me. On this day of new beginnings, I am saddened by an ending - the loss of one of our sweet dogs. Last week is such a blur of anguish; our Boston Terrier boy Rocco went into heart failure on Tuesday, and had to be put down on Thursday. I don't remember the last time I sobbed like I did then. I will be honest, I never thought I would take it this hard. But as husband said, the loss of a pet is a powerful lesson in mortality. I feel like a big chunk of my life just got ripped out of me. It was sudden and sad, and my heart is heavy.

I was touched by the outpouring of sympathy from Facebook friends, many who have been through the same experience. I think I may have gone a bit mad had I not had that connection, and kept turning to it for comfort. Every memory has brought fresh tears and has made me realize just how much our pets accompany us on our life journey. Most of all, I will cherish the memory of how Rocco loved to be near me when I practiced yoga (Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu, by Rocco).

Today, 7 year old and I are packing our bags for an adventure - we are leaving for Tokyo in the morning. I know the dramatic change of scenery will be good for me and will help lift the grief. I struggled a great deal with euthanizing Rocco, and was angry at having to make that decision. But a few days later on Easter, I am realizing that one of my favorite Sanskrit blessings, which Rocco taught me a lot about, is also about not suffering. Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu - may all beings everywhere be happy and free, and free from suffering.

Image courtesy of squishfacedogs.com 

Cowgirl Commentary on Yoga Controversy

I had been congratulating myself on not getting sick all winter. And then, the universe laughed. Day 5 of feeling like crap. But in the end, it's only a cold and I can certainly live with that. And be grateful for my overall good health, and for the opportunity to slow things down a bit. We leave for a trip to Tokyo in one week, so I need to rest up.

It's been a rough week for the yoga biz, as well. I can't help but be amused by the Lululemon quality control issue - see-through pants. The best part was the quote from their CEO, in a call with analysts: The truth of the matter is the only way you can actually test for the issue is to put the pants on and bend over. I have to wonder how on earth she allowed those words to come out of her mouth. Or maybe it's all a yoga marketing conspiracy, as hinted at by my fave yoga commentator, YogaDork, here. And winner of the best headline is The Week: How Lululemon got kicked in the (butt-baring) pants.

Less amusing is the news that Bikram is finally being sued for sexual harassment. Between that and last fall's book Hell-Bent: Obsession, Pain, and the Search for Transcendence in Competitive Yoga, the hot yoga world's darker side is on display, as if it were bending over in see-through Lulus. To quote myself from an article I wrote years ago on the business of yoga, yogis are people and human nature has its darker side.

As an MBA graduate/member of corporate America turned yoga entrepreneur, I've been sensitive to the delicate balance of yoga + business from the start of my yoga career. How to be successful without scandal? Stay true to what yoga is about? Aren't the answers to both of those questions subjective...?  In my little corner of the yoga world, blazin' a yoga trail here in SW Montana, my intention is to share as best I can the things that bring me great fulfillment and joy. That would probably be tougher to do if I were the maker of yoga pants. I guess the lesson here is you can't make everyone's butt look good, all the time.

To me, yoga is about being honest and pure with your intention. How many things these days provide that sort of opportunity? When you come off your mat, good things should be happening. That's why I've been deeply suspicious of the yoga + business blend from the start, even while walking that path and starting not one, but two yoga businesses. Not to say that business is bad, but most of us don't do business to relieve stress, right? It has a different set of intentions. And this being America, most of us aren't likely to become capitalist renunciates either (although I did have a teacher at my DC studio who at one point was uncomfortable taking students' "dirty money" as part of her job...wonder if she's still paying her rent?). There needs to be (cue yoga buzzword) - a balance, and a way to keep it real. That is the challenge, finding the balance between being yogic and businesslike. While not a fan of Lulu's corporate culture weirdness, I've also admitted multiple times that at the end of the day, I bought the pants. (Yes, I am wearing them - luckily, not the revealing ones - in this recent picture from our latest CY boot shoot.)

So while I'm on a roll, let's open up another can of worms - yoga and religion. I read Yoga is Religious; Only It's Not last week on the recent controversy over yoga in CA schools, and was impressed enough to buy the author's book. I've just started American Veda: How Indian Spirituality Changed the West and can't put it down.

And in closing - It's OK to say Namaste.